they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
