so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
