Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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