its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
