; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
