does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
