Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
