I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
