I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
