Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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