I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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