Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Too much gin, very little bucket
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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