I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
