Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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