I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
