I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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