ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
