I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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