Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Of course I have a pirate flag
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize