i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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