i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
