Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
