Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
