...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Randomize
