My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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