Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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