dude i'm inner monologue high
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Randomize
