I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
