the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
