mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Drunk is not a location!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
