dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
