Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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