So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
