if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
