I heard we made out
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
