I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
