Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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