Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
