There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
