Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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