you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
