Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
