she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
