I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
