"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
