Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
