thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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