is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
