How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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