i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
