There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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