Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
