I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
